Necklace
by catharsys
Summary: He had eliminated his clan. He had fulfilled his mission. He had his life as a nightmare. But before all of those, he was also just a young man… and there was a young lady, too. // Itachi PoV // Oneshot


**TITLE: **NECKLACE

**SUMMARY: **He had eliminated his clan. He had fulfilled his mission. He had his life as a nightmare. But before all of those, he was also just a young man… and there was a young lady, too. / Itachi x OC / One-shot.

**DISCLAIMER: **Naruto? Not mine.

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**NECKLACE**

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_Bittersweet_… but more of bitterness.

Half-consciously, I brush my fingers over the object that hangs on my neck. The beads have lost their shine, and the string that held them has roughened with the passing of time. The necklace has always been here, that I sometimes forget that something encircles my throat. It's a lifeline that connects me to the contented Self I once had in the distant past, but also a garrote that smothers me with memories of the evils I have done. As a part of my being, never has it left my neck; never, since _that_ moment when I felt the last embrace that wound the object around me.

Except for once, some time in the clouded yesteryears of my existence, when I kept it from the bloodstains my hands had made…

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**oo00oo**

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"Sayaka," I read quietly from the paper I held in my hand. _No surname, family unknown._

Another mission has been given to me and a list of my teammates' names was before my eyes. I knew not one of them. _New ANBU members_, I presumed.

I sighed as I touched the cat-like mask we were always required to wear. For concealment, the mask was perfect, but I never liked wearing the thing that made my face feel hot. The prime weapon to inflict discomfort.

A little apprehensively, I sensed a presence nearing the door. Being a ninja, and an ANBU squad leader at that, had made me sensitive to any movements in my surroundings. True enough, the door began to creak and a girl in ANBU uniform stepped in. Her hair was jet black and flowed down to her waist. She was petite and a little too pale. Had I not been used to my job, I would have thought that she looked fragile and not fit for the mission. But being here and in that uniform clearly told otherwise. The newcomer's posture gave an aura of dedication, of the readiness to fight.

I sighed again. New members were always like this. First missions excite them.

"I assume you are Sayaka?" I asked her. She nodded.

"You can put the mask down," I said casually. Seeing the mask on her face made _me_ feel uncomfortable for her. "We're still not on official business," I tried to build the impression of an amiable leader, since she was new. Austerity might not be a welcoming gesture for her.

"I'd rather not, Itachi-san. Concealment of identity is one of the primary elements of being an ANBU member," she replied, but her tone was not of freshman innocence. It was defying, measuring.

I raised an eyebrow and smirked mentally. _Feisty._ _I have to see how the mission will go_, I thought. Sayaka was different, in a sense. Geniality wasn't her _thing_, after all. Considerably, I reasoned that was better than having an over-dependent ninja that would solely rely on orders. _But if she goes overboard, I have to teach her a lesson, _I smirked to myself once more.

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"Itachi!" a voice rang through my ears, as I walked down the busy streets of Konoha. I turned my head around but just before I could take a good look, the owner of the voice was already in front of me.

"Sayaka," I recognized her, surprisingly. It was the first time I saw her face. After the successful mission we had, our busy lives had taken our paths separately and not one chance had presented itself for me to get a glimpse of how she looked like without the cover, until now. Maybe in those weeks, months, she had finally accepted the fact that when off-duty, the mask wasn't necessary. _And_, that it made her face feel hot. Speaking, I noticed her face was as white as the clouds on a bright day's sky. Big and round, her eyes were the reflections of a calm sea. She radiated youth and blitheness, completely opposite of what she was during the mission.

"I haven't seen you for a while. Have you been on a lot of missions?" she asked and started to walk beside me.

"Yes," my curt replied went.

"Oh. I've been on only three so far," she pouted. "I thought I did well on those, especially on my first mission, with you; but how come I'm not having assignments as much as the others?" Disappointment was evident in her tone.

"I'm not in the position to answer that, but I can guess. You're still new, and I think there aren't a lot of missions to be taken care of. Not enough to call on all the ANBU, at least," I reasoned. She was still thinking, as if trying to verify my explanation.

It was difficult to not stare at her features. I made a mental note to just look at where I'm going instead. The streets were crowded, as always. Some people were hurriedly making their way through the mass; some were slothfully standing by. Businesses clambered up for profit and more and more establishments were being built. However, all of those seemed far less relevant compared to the presence that was walking—now, skipping—by my side.

"I don't like being idle," Sayaka finally said, just in time to stop me from gazing at her face again. "So how about we grab ourselves a bowl of ramen?" she suggested excitedly, a huge grin spread over her face. Without waiting for an answer, she gripped my arm and pulled towards a restaurant I've never been into. Strangely, I let myself follow her.

On missions, she would definitely not act like this. I knew it; the ANBU mask had its effects. I never thought Sayaka could be this… _bubbly_.

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High above us was the nocturnal sky. We had just arrived from an exhausting mission. Another bloody, but quiet feat. And as if mocking us, the road to Konoha had been quite an arduous terrain. Because of the raging storm that had hit our usual route, we needed to go another way.

The full moon and some shivering stars were the only source of light we had. Two of my team had gone home; Sayaka and I were still several blocks away from her apartment and from my house. Because of the fatigue, the report would have to wait for tomorrow. Using the little energy that was left from the assignment, we dragged our feet quietly.

_Too quietly_, I noticed.

"Something's bothering you," I said, quite amazed at myself for striking up a conversation.

Her answer was only the lowering of her head, so that I couldn't see her face. I did not press further. The silence lingered.

"Takada-san," she started suddenly, referring to the man we had assassinated. "He was a father."

I waited for her to continue. I wasn't sure of where the conversation would lead.

"His daughter's still a baby, barely a year old, and his wife is deceased," she mused aloud. She raised her head now, her azure eyes distant. The moon showered her face with soft light, dimly illuminating her features. Despite the weariness, she appeared… _perfect_. Perfect, as if the faint glow of the night pampered her.

"I never knew my parents," she said, almost down to a whisper. She smiled sadly, more to herself than to me. "I wonder…"

But no words came next.

"Do you regret killing the man?" I asked taciturnly before I could stop myself. Instantly, I wanted to slice my tongue off for that. It was the most insensitive and stupidest question to ask at the moment. The realization was horribly late. Her expression revealed that.

"No," she answered. "I don't. I shouldn't, should I? A ninja must never show her emotions. She must never nurture attachment of any kind. She must not give way for sympathy for the enemy. The success of the mission is of paramount importance."

She held a smile before my eyes, as if projecting happiness from getting a perfect grade in an examination. Funny, how quickly she could change her facial expressions. But her disguise was not impenetrable. I saw sadness and longing in her delicate façade. All the more, I felt the urge to take back the question I tactlessly gave. But words were irrevocable and I grappled for the right ones to say.

We came into a halt as I realized that we were in front of her apartment.

She turned to the door and paused. "Well, a good night to you, Itachi," she bade. Without waiting for any reply, she turned the knob and walked in.

Before she completely closed the wooden door, I found my voice. "Sayaka," I called. The door was pulled back slightly and she let me see a fraction of her face.

"Be sure to take plenty of rest," I said and my mind started to empty. "Good… good night."

"I will; you too," she smiled, but not as sad as earlier. My mind felt blank even more.

At last, the door closed the space between it and the doorframe. Like the report for the Hokage, my apology would have to wait for the next day.

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"Where is she?" I asked sternly.

The medical-nin attending the information counter nervously shuffled through her list.

Anxiety had filled my veins the moment I heard what had happened to Sayaka. Her team's mission was done but at the price of one teammate's life and her badly injured body. I had never felt a rampant rush of unease before now, and the medical-nin was of no help in controlling myself.

"2-214. She's at room 214," she stuttered, finally. I dashed through the corridor and I thought I heard the medical-nin heave a sigh.

Room 214 was in front of me.

Slowly, I pushed the door open and Sayaka's figure came in my line of sight. The plain, white room seemed a hellish mess when I saw her seemingly lifeless figure. Taking steps closer, I felt as if an electric shock violently ran through my muscles. She looked worse. Her once unblemished skin was covered with grazes and bruises; her left collarbone was wrapped in bandage that was blotted with blood; a patch of dressing was placed over her right temple. I knew that her wounds would soon heal and her scars fade, but an irrepressible ire towards the unknown enemy had filled my lungs at the sight of her fragile form. Every breath I drew in, each exhalation, was a frenzied desire to draw out the blood of the men who had done this to her.

Sayaka's eyelids started to flutter, like picturesque wings that a butterfly struggled to flap. I quickly dropped onto my knees beside her bed.

"Sayaka," I whispered. My voice sounded raspy and my tone unreasonably desperate.

"Hi," she said with a tired smile. Sayaka tried to push her body up with her arms. Although with her immense effort, the injuries had conquered her. Defeat was painted on her face. I gently stopped her, laying her back to her safe position.

"You shouldn't be getting up," quite strictly, I suggested.

She frowned. "I don't like being stuck here."

"Sayaka, at least for once, try not to take your bravery to the point where your body fails you. Just rest here until you heal,"—her frown deepened—"and if I have to give you an official order to do that, I will," I gave a finality.

"I didn't know you can speak that much, being the 'man-of-a-few-words' that you are. Forty words. I'm surprised," she joked. It was my turn to glare, letting pass my amazement at her acuity. "Alright, fine, I will," she sighed. "But don't kneel to me, I'm not a god."

I knew what she meant, what was on her mind in between those lines, and I obeyed. Slowly, I got up and sat down beside her pillow, instead. _Strong and proud_, two of the many things I _loved _about her.

"I'm glad to see you," Sayaka started after a short pause. "It's been a while again. Sometimes I think of secretly altering the team lists so that I can have missions with you; I miss your strict-no-nonsense-ass," she declared, her soft laughter filling my senses. Indeed, doing missions with her was not such a bad I idea. In fact, I thought that was for the best: we make a great team, I could protect her from unwanted consequences such as this... and I could spend more time with her, which was becoming a rare treat every passing day. My devious side agreed with her little mischievous plan, but only silently.

"But it kinda sucks, though. We see each other after some months and I'm in this little mess," jestingly, Sayaka said.

"That is quite an understatement," I commented on her words, half-sarcastically for her making a joke out of her chaotic state. "I was worried," I stated plainly, rather stoically, for I was not comfortable with expressions of such feelings. But that was enough to convey the message.

She smiled her soothing smile. "I'm happy to hear that. A badly injured body is incomplete without another person insanely fussing over it."

"Can't you ever be serious?" I questioned, incredulous at her being so ironically good-humored. She just smiled wider in reply, but gratitude played in her eyes.

"Thank you," she murmured.

We remained quiet but the silence was enough, was all we ever needed; for in it we never said anything but we felt and knew everything.

Her eyes were closed now, so was my hand on hers.

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…_eliminate them, all of them. Your village comes before your clan. You must successfully execute this mission, for Konoha…_

It was like a mantra I never willingly prayed; a curse that incessantly haunted me.

"I have to do it," I stated quietly, calmly. The sun was beginning to give way for the moon. Streaks of purple crawled onto the orange sky.

"No," Sayaka responded quietly too, but stubbornly. We had been standing face to face, a meter apart, for who knew how long. Her eyes of oceans pierced mine; her knuckles white from clenching her fists too long. She was angry at my submission, at my apparent indifference, at _me_. The distance, the situation, was agonizing but my impassive façade lingered on.

_...eliminate them, all of them…_

"Don't do this!" she exclaimed after hearing no response from me. She was running out of convincing words, but her persistence was immeasurable.

_Your village comes before your clan..._

"You're well aware of the kind of job we do, Sayaka." My patience was thinning. I intended to have the conversation only for her not to be left clueless. Even though I had anticipated that this would happen, that she would everything to stop me, I had cared not to ready myself.

"To hell with the mission! You're not this person, Itachi!" she snapped at me; her face now red with constrained fury and despair. I was the cause and I hated it.

_You must successfully execute this mission…_

"I've had enough! Don't tell me what I am and what to do! This is _my _mission, _my _choice," I retorted. I clenched my jaws, not wanting to raise my voice at her anymore. I felt my muscles tremble with anger at myself for the things I was doing and the things I was about to do. Sayaka wasn't supposed to be here in this mess, feeling the pain she was feeling now. I had to spare her, albeit she was already plunged into the distressful waters of my own predicament.

She silenced at my response. Our eyes were still fixed at each other's, but hers were swimming with unwanted tears now. A little part of me felt awed and privileged to have witnessed such pristine pearls falling out of her blue orbs. For the first time, I saw fear in them and my heart contracted with a pang of guilt. A blanket of stillness fell upon us.

"What will happen to you, then? To us?" asked Sayaka, not bothering to hide the despondency in her tone and the quivering of her lips. It was the question I ached to never hear, though in vain, I had known.

"Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself," was all I could answer; she did not mind what I had said. Her arms flung around my neck as she threw herself on me. Her faced was buried on my chest and her shoulders shaking.

It was the universe's greatest hypocrisy, the unworthy man that I was, embraced by someone so pure and perfect.

And it was also the world's most powerful temptation. Every cell in my body yearned to return the gesture, as much as every gush of wind hissed _Shame _at my ears.

But I was greedy. I wrapped my unworthy arms around her, gripping her as if for dear life. Her form, her smell, I memorized. Her sound, her minute movements, I learned. Everything, I carved on my mind, for tonight was the last and soon we had to part. _Shame._

Before long, our bodies found space in between. Then, something felt new, alien. I raised my hand to my neck and there it was, Sayaka's necklace; an angel's halo around the devil's neck.

"I'm only letting you borrow it. Don't forget to give it back to me," she said simply. Our gazes were years away.

But it was time. I found myself walking under the dark heaven. I had to feel nothing and I felt nothing. I was empty.

The necklace will never leave me, I decided, except for tonight, when I enter my perpetual nightmare.

…_for Konoha…_

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**oo00oo**

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The sun has hidden itself behind the horizon. The sky is orange and purple, the same painted canvas of _that_ day. The sea before me appears calm but the waters below pound the rocks at the bottom of this cliff. I wonder if I will ever meet the same eyes again.

I hear my name. I feel myself being pulled back to reality; to _the_ reality _who_ wears the dark sky and red clouds of the Akatsuki. I will have to live up to the organization's name once again. An unforgivable act is out there, waiting to be done, and my necklace shall bear witness to it, like how it silently did numerous times in the past.

_Bittersweet…_

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**Yuan Edwards**

**AN: **Please comment, suggest, review, or _just_ react. I'll probably reply to those as well, so check back on this page. Thank you so much for reading!


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